Tales of A Lost Soul

Heh, yatto mitsuketanoka…kotae wo…tabun.
Aa, kawaru kanou sei ga aru dakedo…
Demo ima…kono shunkan…semete…
Ore ga wakaru.
Wakatterusa.

Ore ga mamoru.
Kono hanabira tachi…
Zettai ni ore ga mamoru.
Ore no inochi ni chikatta.
Kono chi ni chikatta.

Mamotte miseru,
Eigao wo,
Shiawase wo,
Kokoro wo, tamashii wo,
Dakara..onegai…douka…watashi ni chikara wo.

Moushi…aitsura wa kono michi ni aruiteinai…
Ore wa…leader ni naru, michibiki wo hirake.
Zutto Isshousa…zutto.
Tadoritsuku bashou made.
Douka…yurushitekudasai…onegai.

I felt…empty
I didn’t care.
Everything didn’t mean a thing.
How clueless.
How foolish.

It was a good wind turn.
Just me and the peaceful night.
The breezy wind
Strolling slowly in that moment
Guess this is the 2nd time in memory.

I just went randomly the first time.
Well it turned out good.
Very good.
Ah the second time…was subtly good I guess.
That third…heh it wasn’t actually on heart.

Twas…hungry..haha.
No one else…me alone.
And the silent night.
Didn’t cared bout the nightly dangers.
Heh, I’m a guy afterall.
So I went blindly, slowly.
Just followed where my heart said.
Randomly picking, enjoying it slowly…
But it was also…
It kinda had a feel of freedom I guess.
Doing whatever I wanted.
Worrying bout nothing.
Just leaving it all to those chains instead.

But I liked that moment.
Anyways, guess I better wake up.
About time I get moving and do what I must.
I’ve played around more than enough.
Lets give this a slow try.

We’ll see where we’ll go.
Its the right thing to do anyway.
Sigh…I hope it is.
But now…I’ll get some rest.
Then maybe be like what others are doing.
Giving it their all.
Just hope I wont go too far out and kill myself again.

Heh…guess there’s no need to fear actually.
I’ll rest if I get tired.
I’ll take a step back and enjoy the scenery if things get messy.
I kinda know where to go and find healing.
So I won’t just go and drop dead this time.
Yeah…this time…I’m not alone.
I’ve got great friends.

Heh, that event was a blast!
Many like me,
Many greater than me,
Many crazier than me.
Many individuals gathered.

Sure twas fun, all the crazyness
All the insanity.
The cheap and good food.
All the beautiful art displays.
Enjoyed the wii too.

Heh, yet…you know what?
Somewhere deep within…
It felt…empty.
I should know best the reason.
Four petals were missing, weren’t they?

Perhaps that was the answer.
But then again, maybe not.
Maybe its something else.
How could I know?
Heh…how could I know…

Heh…
Let this small carving…
Remind me of this small event
A carving only I could unlock
Only I could disenchant.

Yes…twas bizarre
Obviously for because of the time and deed.
Well, whatever the reason
This could well enough…
More than enough actually.

If a man wanted to kill himself
But he wanted to have his last nap first
This ray of light would change his mind
He would not end his life
It would be enough to make him smile,
A warmth enough to last a few years
At least thats what I think.

A gentleness that transcends time and space.
I can still feel it.
I can still remember it.

Whether this is a mere game or not
Its not for me to decide is it?
I’ll just accept it as it is.
For this has returned a few years of my life that I had thrown.
Nanka…ureshii.

Ah…I’m losing my grasp of reason.
Madness ga…kuru.
Ugh…mou genkaika.
Iya, I must be strong.
Though this crazy cycle continues
I must fight on.
Sore shika…nai.

Ah, my rational mind wavers
My hands…heh tainted as always.
Yet I can still smile like this.
Heh… I wonder if I am still sane?
Perhaps its time to take a step back and enjoy the scenery.

Yeah, need a break.
Some rest.
A place for my wounds to heal.
For my mind to gaze into the wind.
For my heart to lie down peacefully.

Peace…perhaps a song of peace would do.
A song for comforting sorrow
To heal the pain of losing
To caress those streaming tears
To calm vengeance within.
To the place where stars fall…
We’ll see each other again.

                 *****

I love you enough to let you go free
Motto…motto tsuyokunaru kara
Mamoritai…sono egao,
Tsuyoku
Tsuyoku.

Its sad to see you chained down like that
Wish I can break em for you
But that chain, only you yourself can break it.

Me? Heh, you can say I’m free from that chain
More like I was freed just recently
Yeah I’m human I can be chained by them again.
But at least for now, kono shunkan, ore wa jiyuuda.
Unlike yourself.
I pray that I wont be chained again by those chains that are restraining you from flying.
Such beautiful wings…
Its sad to see them cry,
Crying for freedom.
I was once chained too
But I was guided on how to break free
Hope you find you’re way too
If it is fated so.

Heh, me? Can’t see ‘em?
Zoom out a bit…..ok a lot.
See ‘em now?

Yeah, they’re huge and beautiful, I know.
Not to brag or anything.
I know, I know, These chains can disappear at anytime if the master wishes it.
I can’t be arrogant about it.
Just reminding my self and tabun hoka no dareka-san, heh heh.

That chain my dear, the one on you, is so small and rusty
So old that it would break any second.
Just a little nudge, and you’re done.
It is merely a mirage of deceit.
Beautiful but empty, soulless, a mere tool for us kakuseis

These huge chains? Well they’re obsolete.
Its infinity, If any word that can describe it I guess,
I’m no scholar.

Hm? You ask of this smaller one?
Heh, well its complicated.
You really wanna hear?
Its not new, not too old either…
Kinda like…"Forbidden Memories"
I let it haunt me on my own free will.
I let it weigh my heart so heavily,
I allowed it to limit my potential.
These chains…
I don’t want to break them.
At least for now.
I know I have the strength to break ‘em
But I just don’t want to.

Its…difficult.
Looking at ‘em reminds me about a lot of things.
You can say I’m pretty much the guy today partly because of it
Dunno how much, but yeah, it played a role.
Quite a big one, at least compared to the one you’re chained to.
It taught me quite a few things,
If an old friend said I’ve changed since I came here…..its probably because of it.

Of course that big one has always been there since the beginning.
No need to highlight the obvious.
There’s still a long road ahead…i think.
Heh, I know not how much longer will this tamashii stay in this karada…
I just submit, that simple…sorede ore wa hanshinshita. Kokoro no heiwada.

*Deep breath…..sigh….*
Perhaps you too will find the road.
If not, too bad.
If so, welcome aboard, XD
I’ll be sure to give you a warm welcome if you ever come here.
Na, ishhouni arukou? Te to te…unmei e.
If it is fated so that is. Heh.

My, my what a blessing.
Let this song mark a glorious holy day for my life!
To receive such blessing!
After 1.5 years, it came.
To us who received it, light!

This soul is unworthy of such honour.
Yet embrace it I will.
And continue this life on.

The eleventh of this holy period.
Let us remember for those who know
And realize for those who don’t.
The sacrifice.
The suffering.
We wouldn’t be here if not for her.
The first to say he was true,
When others say he was wrong.
A woman whose emotions did not clouded her judgment
A pure beauty, loving mother who raised heroic senshis.
Let us remember…for without her, we are nothing.

A supporter for the cause.
Mere taunts of imbeciles are useless to belittle her.
Like insects trying to crush mountains with their puny breath.

One who is already there.
While we stay here swayed with useless toys.
Remember…for she does not desire our omois.
Nor our deeds.
In fact, it is us who desire for her light.
Remember…
Remember…

Even if our deeds are a mere speck compared to hers
Even if we cant compare to him.
Remember, we are together with those who we love.

Heh, even under this holy moon shine…
When demons and beasts are chained and caged
Even under these conditions
Still I waver
Still I gave in
Still I lost my mind
Nasakenai…orette…yoweina…

Tsuyoku nare.
Its been countless losses already
The cycle continues…
Heh, I’m just a pitiful soul
Powerless to begin with.

Well, I’ll give it my best shot.
Thats about the only thing I can do.
I’ll limit myself.
So that I’ll stay in control.
Guess I’ll just keep on fighting…
With this fatigued mind, body, heart and soul…
Till I fall.

Kita.
The moment that I didn’t realize.
Its time.
Time to return back
Return to my origin.

Yet…I’m swayed.
How weak can I get?
Douka…wo chikara wo…

I’ve been in low spirits lately
Wondering from time to time.
The road is wide open in front of me.
Yet I still waver.
Is it that…I long for support?
Is the support now not enough?
Or am I just playing around?

Heh, these daily things make me laugh.
Some go weary over these
They worry so much, it shackles them down
Like heavy weights…
They walk as though they are underwater
Even though they are on ground
Yes, everyone has worries, its no doubt.

Being afraid is not totally wrong.
Oretachi wa ningen da…atarimaedarou?
Wish I could break those shackles…
How I strongly, strongly wish to shatter that fear
To let those doves fly high as much as they want.
But…I myself am shackled to my own past.
My own fears…my own regrets.

When I’m lost…I ask for guidance.
When I’m weak, I ask for strength.
Then I surrender…soredake.

Ah…the shackles are gripping tighter…
Its painful…and sad.
They limit my movements, my potential.
Yet I feel as though I don’t want to let go of them.
Yes, I fear to break out of this zone.
Fear of repeating it again.
Heh, why am I here stuck on Number 5?

Worrying over this inferior light…
While I can go and weep over that superior one?
Yare yare…I get crazy over something so much,
I lose grasp of my priorities.
Sigh……………..
Douka…is there a way to amend this?
I…missed…I regret…

If I didn’t messed up…
I might be laughing now.
Happily settling the daily things that needs to be done
Together…
But I messed up…
Now I’m afraid…fear to amend…
The feel is even different now.

Heh, One bloody mess in one section…
And there goes the other three
Messed up as well.
How sensitive can I get…
Ah…how sad…

If I were a bit more patient and mature…
I might be enjoying my life…
Just like it was in the very beginning…
Heck I am an emotional one…
That I cannot hide.
Control over my emotions is one thing I lack.
Without emotions, I might better off be dead.

Heh, then again…the me now…
Doesn’t give a damn if this world is destroyed.
Is not impressed with what others were blown away by.
I find it hard to get impressed.
What others say "wow"…I go "…"
Its somehow…numb…
I don’t care anymore…

That one precious moment is gone.
There’s nothing else that can give me emotions.
I’m now nothing more than a living moving soulless scabbard.
Heh, here I am…weeping over the inferior.
Nasakenai…

Well, the time has come.
A golden time.
I better use it to my advantage.
Before it ends…
A time of peace…
A time where light amplified…
And darkness reduced.