Tales of A Lost Soul

Hmph…it never ceases its attacks
All I can do is pray
For strenght, wisdom and faith

Guess I should get a move on
Before it strikes again
Sigh…why at a time like this?
My heart wishes for the blossoms
That I parted with not long ago…
Why?
What is this pain?

Just now…
I survived a bit…
What now?
Pain of longing?
Heck others suffered more
And here I am babbling over something
Something so little

Maybe
Just maybe
I was taught to be true
To be honest to my heart
My own soul
So even a slight falter
Is an important sign

Well if I really do long…
I should not wait
That is what a genthlemen does, no?
Then again…
I do have honour that controls
So that I would not stray
But I guess
I should not worry
I have reinforcements
Just in case if I stray and run wild
So…I shall make my move…?

Though I know nothing
Of where and what I am aiming
Should I wait untill I know?

Or should I…press on?

Has my heart sujud?
Only me and my master knows
If I did…
This farewell would be a meaningful one
Making me immune
To the shadows that are near freedom
But…did I?

The last witir…
The long qunud
What was I doing?

"Strugle to the circle
Once in,
You are protected"

"That night is for the weaklings"
Like me
Did I grasped it?

Tch…and how many shadows already struck?
Even where the origins were imprisoned
The mark remains
I was too weak
Even just now…

But it was a close one, no?
And now…
We will part from peace
I will be lurked by shadows again…
Will I survive?

Ya Karim!
Protect me…
I am a weak slave of yours…
I know nothing
I have nothing
With the nobleness of your beloved…
Protect me…the Yonjyuunidaime…

For without you…
I am lost…
Ore wa…mayoinagara…

Resentment
Pitiful
Disgrace

Will these tainted hands
Be cleaned
Though colourless
Its foul odour still haunts
Seven strikes

A foolish slave
Ungrateful
Weak
Forgetful of his purpose
"Will I…be forgiven?"

I should never had started it
It drove slowly in
The first day was safe
But the next
I perished
The first blast initialized
The next six

How many times has it been?
For how many years?
This…is the 6th year
One who repeats his mistakes is a fool
That is I…a fool.

17th sacred moon
The day the differs
Truth or false

313…against threefolds or more…
The One prays first
Others went to fight

The sahabat went to fight
Came back
Still he prays

He went back
Fought
Came back
Still he prays
For our victory
If we fell that day
We would not be today

Then the Holy Leader went
Getting ready
With glory

Strenght of heart
It was all that matters
Not weapons nor numbers

On his three sides
The Death Bringer
The Bringer of Rezekh
And the Leader of them all
Only those who are allowed to see
Can see

And layers of thousands
Holy wings were ready
Only this war
They fought
Weapons from Hell
They weilded
They aided us

Tis such a long story
This verse
Let us stop now

And continue next time…
If it is allowed…
Those who participated…
Those warriors…
Heaven for them
It is certain
No doubt about that

~Yonjyuunidaime~

These memories…
These feelings…
Within me…

Will they be forgotten?
The journey
A long road still lies

Maybe some inspiration
Shall enlighten me
And my dark soul

Things said
Intentionally or not
I believe in no coincidence

The journey
The sign of calmness
First: Stray from the realm of lies
Second: Approach the realm of eternity
Third: Ready before it arrives…death

Those who are chosen
Shall always remember it
That which ends comfort

I am a fool…
It was unnecessary
But I went on

Three strikes…
Now drained
My heart cries

A foolish slave I am
Now clueless
I do not know what to do…

The 11th day
Of the holy crescent
The day we lost someone
"I will love those who love her"
Her wits are unmatched
From the beginning of this world
Till the end of time

Love,
Even if we give the whole world
We feel nothing
And if we receive even the smallest gift
We treasure it with all our heart

We give
Not because they want
It is a symbol of love.
She sacrificed a lot…
Without her
We are nothing…
The mother of the masters

All we can do is cherish her deeds
Do good deeds
And give its blessings to her

She was wise…
She knew how to distinguish
Whether it was a devil
Or an angel
She sacrificed
Even before the divinity descended

We know where she will go…
It is already proven
She took care of the children
That became our warriors
The sheilded our stand

"They are between me and the one that is eternal"
Said the door
The door to knowledge and wisdom
We should love them… his family
For with only love
Shall our deeds reach
What it should reach in the first place

Orewa…Yonjyunidaimeda…
Shall I find one like me too?
Well, I am powerless
Ill leave it
To the one that controls love
To decide
Who is the one for me

For as long as
I have their blessings…
It is fine by me…
For loving is rezekh…
It is given
Not attained
It is a blessing

~Yonjyunidaime~

As I was fooling in dawn…
The source vanished
Shadow came
I survived
Then strolled

The wind of dawn was cooling
Refreshing
I prepared and went off
I wandered…
And found a peaceful retreat
Though,
A few things were missing

Untill midday,
I journeyed to my sanctuary
Rested and duty called
All khalas…
Out I went to battle

A lone hunter I was
Before me were twin blossoms
A pure one
A dark and docile one
Analyzed all the way
I did…
It is my nature…

Since it was served
Right infront of me
Itadaku~
Events were like destined
It was fun
The battle commenced
And ended with a simple review

I wanted to be a fool again
But somehow obstacles came
Like it was not allowed

Three blows
Im so weak…
Even with the pure lunar shine
I….lost
I was fooling around

Frustrated
Sad
Guilt
Hatred
Agony

What should I do now?
Train?
Pray?
Doubt myself?
Dousurebaiindarou?

Wakaranai…
I’ll just sink…
Into the abyss…

For within the abyss maybe
The answer lies there
Now the shadow
Has been freed once again
It will be difficult
To seal it again
But that I must do

Alone, or not…
I must seal it,
Or atleast control it

But
Am I strong enough?
I…..am a mere human

I can only seek help
I know where to go
But to go there
Tis the price to pay
A very heavy price…

Nothing can be acheived with the mind
Nothing at all
It is pointless
Love,
The heart,
It is all that matters

The price is too much
In order ta attain
What we should really get
A tired body,
Eyes that never tasted sleep,
A heart that never forgets

Tis a hard life
This road is
Filled with thorns, hills and mountains
I am weak…but I know
What lies in the end

Those who know
Might do the same
But knowing is not the same as feeling…
Therefore…ore wa…
Nanimo wakattenai…

Tis an honour
To receive one after another
This time
It was the khiqah…

Though I am not worthy to receive it…
It is done for the blessings
May this lost and weak soul
Be guided…
By the one that reigns supreme
Over all other…