Tales of A Lost Soul

Omoidashita…
Iroirona koto…
My past…those good old times…
Did i missed those times?
Do I wish to see them all again?

An then…Cherry…
Clearly…Twice?
Or was it trice?
I could remember 1 and 2 quite well…
1 went my way…I guess…
2 was a blizzard of Siberia
3? Does it even exists?

Well the dreams that appears when I’m awake sure are countless
What is this craziness?
What is this drunkenness?
What is this mad hunger?
Surely this is not the holy pure emotions of love…
Or is it?
I know not…For I am lost…

Ah…I wonder if I should do this…
Is it time to already plant the seventh fonon?
What is their meaning of birth to me?

This blossom…is strong
Strong at heart
To endure whats natural to this blossom
Every now and then
To bloom and wither so every often

I felt guilt over my words
Yet my actions already started their atonement
This one is not a struggle factor blossom…
Rather a neutral one…for now.
What shall I name this seventh new member of my garden?

This one…came from a faraway land…
How about…Habbatus Sau’dah?
Saudah for short?
For I wish with the wonders of healing from that flower
Will help aid this blossom

Heh…I wonder will I add or remove another blossom from this garden of delusions?
Saa ne…
And my small world continues on…

How long has it been?
SInce the last time I went into drunkenness over you
You and only you
Will reign supreme
In the spot of godaime

"I will sing for you"
"I live for you"
How I forgot those words

The feasts…the feasts I get since I came here
I’m sorry…for my weakness
Whatever shall I do master?
My hands are tainted everyday…
And today…just today…
Argh! The temptation!
It was uninvited! Was it a test I failed pathetically?

My eyes, me heart…
They burned!
Are you there? In the test that came this morning???
Sleeping awaiting to be awakened?
Are you resting in that violet veil of white facades?
If so…answer me! Please…
I not want to make a mistake…

To choose a vessel that has no you…
It means my betrayal to you for the oath I pledged.
I must not break my code.
My Paladin’s honour…
I…will fight…to stay on this righteous path
The path I’ve strayed from millions of times
Till I find the answer…

On my fights…please…like old times…
Sing for me…
Heal me…
We shall walk this road together again…
I will blind my eyes and heart again…
Is this…allright?
Or should I just…relax?

Never the less…my fight awaits…
I will not run away
Sore wa otokoda!!!

This will be the final entry for this song…
For I have learned
That what happened in the shadow…
Let it stay in the veil of darkness
It is for what it is meant to be

And what happened in light…let it stay there
Bathed in the glorious holy light
Saa…my life goes on…as it is written above…

Here I am
Still unpurified after what I committed
All alone…it striked when I was weak.
I was able to fight it off once before it happened,
But it kept on trying

And I gave in…
Now I sit wrecked with guilt
My heart cries tears of bloody regret
Can this sinner tread that bridge safely?
With all the weight on his left wing
Countless times much heavier
Than the right wing

How can I fly to my master with this weight?
Ah…what else I can do
But to atone and pray

How many times has it been?
How many years?
Since… seven years ago?
Heck the stacked up debts I must payback
I know not when they disappear
So I’ll just think…
That they’re still there…

Haunting me
Till they are lifted
Sadly I cannot see them
But I can feel them
Though sometimes my feelings betray me…

There is nothing else this idiotic slave can do
To remain loyal till its body rots
And await the painful death ahead…

Please master…can I be forgiven again?
I am ashamed of myself
My weakness
Whatever shall I do?
Please…guide me…

I am…nothing…without you…

So…again…and again…and again…
How could I gave in?
I cry in this regret

How much longer will this continue…
Can I not change this routine?
This hands…are cursed
By me
And myself within

Now I know what has been bothering me…
No wonder
They said its what every women has
No wonder…
My apologies my love.

This soul is lost
This slave is weak
This servant relies only on his master
This soul is nothing without his master
And yet he does what his master forbids
Oh what an imbecile I am
And so I am an idiotic bastard… to mistreat you

She is merely a reflection of you
In another realm
You and her are one and the same
Oh how I did not realized it
Or rather…I did not want to…
I’m sorry…
Such a fool I am…

Now I know again…
My eternal loyalty lies with our master and his beloved
We are brought together by him
And for him we shall stay together
To fight my devil inside

Not to forget…
Those who gave me life
I was born from their love
Till their graves and beyond I shall be loyal
It is my duty

And also…
Those who shone me light
That rescued me from darkness
My wisdom and guidance martyrs
I shall be their sword

Yes…I have improved
And my battle continues
Lets walk together again…
Just the two of us
Let us cross the bridge together…
Or rather…should I say…
Wait for me at the good end, my love…

Where two will share a patch of sun made for one
Please aid me with our master’s permission
With his and his lover’s guidance…
We shall move on step by step…
In this pit stop of lies.

Is that…my end?
I wonder…
No wonder i felt no pain
It wa all a dream
Still…I’m curious

Why did I went in?
Eventhough I knew
That it would be my last?

Heh…even in all that rushing down
And explosion
I was still able to mutter
Some of my last prayers..
How Ironic…

And to think…
To be able to see my own dead body…
What does this mean?

So…it came…
Even in the embrace of my two maidens
Still it came
I…lost?
Its been a while…

I just need to keep fighting
And improve myself
I had been fighting quite a bit…

Now back to square one…
How many cycles left I wonder…
Saane…